Murexa
by GuardianSoulBlade
Summary: Post season four, preseason five. Raven contemplates her life and what she’s supposed to do now that she can start over.  Inspired by the song 'Murexa' by Falling Up.


**Murexa**

_Post season four, pre-season five. Raven contemplates her life and what she's supposed to do now that she can start over._

Raven Roth stood in her room staring at the mirror in her room, not her meditation mirror that was the portal into her mind, but a plain old mirror, gazing at her reflection. She had finished celebrating their victory over her father and now took the time to think about her future.

She had told Robin, "I guess there really isn't an end, just new beginnings." So what was next for her? She had always lived in fear of her destiny. Now she had nothing to fear and had a a future to look forward to.

She knew she wasn't alone anymore, Beast Boy had reassured her that they would always be there for her. Still, sometimes, she felt alone. Raven sighed and was about to leave the room when she heard a knock at the door.

"Hey, Raven? You in there? " It was Beast Boy, he was probably checking up on her.

"Yes, what do you want?" Raven asked.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay and stuff," Beast Boy said. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, why not?" Raven replied. If it would get him to go away quicker, she'd let him in to satisfy his curiosity.

"I didn't interrupt your meditation did I?" he asked, genuinely worried that he had disturbed her. That was new . Raven supposed he'd learned his lesson from the last time he and Cyborg had come into her room without her permission.

"No, I was just thinking," Raven said.

'Oh, what about?" Beast Boy asked.

"Just about what's next, why?"

"Oh, I wanted to give you something. I was gonna give you this for your birthday, but when we all found out what your birthday meant…well, I decided to hold off on it, but now the time seemed right, so, here," Beast Boy pulled out a purple cloak from behind his back.

"A purple cloak," Raven said. "Beast Boy, you know blue is my favorite color, so why'd you give me a purple cloak?" The gift seemed…odd.

"Well, there's a reason for that…you see, I did some digging and I discovered that this color purple comes from a tropical sea snails, a Murex and I guess it's the dye for royal purple." Beast Boy nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Meaning?" Raven pressed. She didn't get it. What did sea snails and a purple cloak have to do with her?

"In the medieval times, purple was only worn by special people, and I wanted to give it to you because I think you're a special person," Beast Boy said. "I know you spend a lot of time in here and I know that you feel alone sometimes. And despite our reassurances that we're here for you, sometimes…I'm not sure if you believe us."

"What do you think? Do you think I believe you when you've told me I'm not alone?" Raven asked.

"I'm not sure, with you, who can tell?" Beast Boy asked. "You keep to yourself all the time."

"And yet you keep pestering me," Raven sighed

"I know I do, I just want to make sure you're okay," Beast Boy smiled.

"So…you gave this to me because you think I'm special, what's that supposed to mean?" Raven asked.

"You're special Rae, one of the most special people I know. I mean, they told you all your life that you were going to destroy everything, and if somebody told me I was going to do that over and over again, I'd probably go crazy, and you, you _tried _to stop it, even before you told us what was going on. I mean, anybody else would have probably gone off the deep end or killed themselves or something, but you tried to stop it even though everyone told you that you couldn't do anything about it."

"Beast Boy…" Raven said. She was stunned. Where had this come from?

"And even when it was hopeless and you gave up, I knew you were wrong, and deep inside, I think you knew you were wrong about it too."

"I wouldn't say that, I nearly destroyed the world. You're wrong Beast Boy, I did give up hope. I felt…so alone. Abandoned. Then Robin came and found me, told me about everything that had happened. He said that he'd have to have hope for both of us."

"Y'know, I would've come instead but…he insisted that he go and find you," Beast Boy said quickly.

"Why would you say that?" Raven asked. "Don't tell me you're jealous of Robin." Raven used her powers to reach out to the green changeling's emotions. Yes, he was jealous, and it was a strange kind of jealously. He had wanted to be the one who saved her, but why?

""Well, I wanted to save you, and you're gonna say this is stupid, but I wanted to save you because…I care about you."

"Is it just that Beast Boy, or is it something else?" Raven asked. She sensed the turmoil in him. Terra's sacrifice had weighed heavily on his mind for months. He had never said anything to her, but she had seen him staring at pictures of them together. He sometimes picked up the heart shaped box he had made for her and held it in his hands.

"No, that's it, really," Beast Boy said hastily.

"Listen, I know you miss Terra, don't deny it. I heard from Cyborg about how your dark side taunted you with her and how you reacted. I know you were angry that he used that against you."

"You say that like missing Terra is bad," Beast Boy said a little defensively.

"I didn't say it was bad. I miss her too," Raven said, the revelation startled Beast Boy.

"I thought you hated her," Beast Boy said.

"There's a big difference between distrust and hate," Raven said. Just because I didn't trust her didn't mean I hated her. I never said I hated her."

"Oh," Best Boy said. He decided he had bothered her enough and was about to leave when she said something that startled him.

"Beast Boy, are you substituting me for Terra?" she asked.

"What? What do you mean by 'substitute'?" he responded, not quite understanding what she meant.

"Am I just a replacement for the girlfriend you can't have?" Raven asked quietly.

"No, you're not, Raven. I wouldn't do that to you, not after what happened to you because of Malchior. And that'd be wrong of me to treat you like a replacement. Because your not. I care about you, and I care about her, too. I always have cared about you…"

It happened before he could stop himself, he had moved closer to her and his lips had found hers before either one could stop it. It wasn't all excitement and passion like in those stupid chick flicks that even Starfire wouldn't watch. It was more of an expression of comfort and caring than a romantic feeling, although he didn't deny that in his heart he did have a special place for Raven Roth. It's just with Terra, he'd never been able to settle things between them, and that was what dominated his thoughts whenever he thought about her.

Raven too, was startled by his actions, and like him, she knew he wasn't kissing her to be a romantic Romeo. Far be it from Beast boy to be called a "Romeo" by anyone. He couldn't even flirt well. Because when he did, the girls would just giggle and walk on.

She slipped her arms around his waist and leaned in, deepening the kiss slightly. They both knew they were hiding their feelings, and she probably wouldn't get a confession out of him, nor he out of her, but at least they both knew where they stood on this issue.

Beast Boy pulled away quietly. "Rae, I didn't mean….you know…that kiss…it wasn't supposed to be..."

"Yes, I know…But you know how I feel on this issue," Raven said, turning away form him. She would never say it, it wasn't in her nature to express her feelings.

"I know," Beast Boy said. "I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"

"Okay," Raven said.

_Five Years Later…_

Raven stood in front of a mirror, clasping a purple cloak around her neck. She made sure she looked presentable and ran her fingers through her hair nervously.

The door opened and Starfire walked in.

"Raven, are you ready, your groom Beast Boy is waiting for you," she said.

Raven smiled. "Yeah, I'm ready."

He had always been there for her, he had made sure that she would never be alone again. He had been a light in her dark world. And here she was, clad in the purple cloak he had given her so long ago.

She was a special girl, and that cloak proved it, not that it was a special cloak, but the symbolism of it meant more to her than any jewel on earth. She was a special person, and he loved her, all that love was summed up in a simple, murex dyed cloak.


End file.
